Life

Why Being Understood Is Better Than Being Loved

Thought Catalog

Flickr / ashtonFlickr / ashton

About six years ago I was visiting my Uncle Paul in Abuja, Nigeria. We talked a great deal about many things: religion, philosophy, politics, etc. My Uncle Paul is a man of science, a retired surgeon, and we would often debate about matters coming from opposite perspectives. We enjoyed challenging each other on issues, I think. Towards the end of my stay, he said something to me that I’ll never forget, “You have good insight in how you see people, almost naturally. I suspect of course the person you have the least insight into is yourself. And maybe it’s because few will have insight into you as well.”


I don’t imagine myself to be a complicated person. Certainly I have the qualities of someone with a complicated story. Born into a complex country, having to leave it at a young age for political reasons, starting university a few…

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